Monday, November 1, 2010
Virtual Noob Guide Chapter 2:
-LOL: There are literally a hundred ways to say this or more. It basically means you're funny, but only funny enough to move my one finger a centimeter or two. There's a lot of variations of this including LMAO (slightly funnier on the funny scale), and the little known ROFL, which is supposed to resemble siezures of some sort. The more creative the 'LOL', the funnier you are. Congratulations are in order if there's a series of seemingly unassociated punctuations that when taken as a whole seem to form a picture. Following this, anything you say for the next five minutes that is NOT funny can be completely disregarded. It's like a get out of jail free card for being dull.
-LULZ: It means basically the same thing as 'LOL', only with a z.....and a u. It's like saying, "I think you're funny, but I'll be damned if I'm going to conform to society by using 3 letter abbreviations to express it".
-IDI: This one is important. Wake up, noob! Back when dinosaurs roamed Inworldz (last year and today if you mistake dragons for dinos), an incredibly clever person decided to shorten the name of the welcome sim to Inworldz so people could type it a whole helluva lot easier. It actually stands for...uhm...eh....*coughs*.... Moving on!
-TLDR: I put this last for a very important reason. Those that actually use this have already moved along. It's basically saying "I read your post, but I want to look like I don't care...cause I'm cool like that". It's the ultimate in embarrassing responses, often prompting you to want to write even longer response to defend your position. Don't fall for it, it's a trap! They read it or they wouldn't have bothered posting. Think, noob!
You'll want to sit down for this next shocker. Often times, while hanging out in crowded areas you may see local chat followed by an animation, or even what sounds like voice. Stay calm, it's not a real person talking. It's what's called a gesture. Annoying as they may be, make friends with gesture users. They'll give you gestures as gifts. The amazing thing about these buggers is you can hotkey them to work hardly typing at all. And there's sound! It's almost like voice, only lazier. Amazing!
So get those fingers ready and don't panic in local chat. It's a jungle out there, just remember you don't have to pay attention. Just use those abbreviations and you'll be fine. Just use them quickly and without remorse. Occasionally you'll get a long pause between responses. Most likely the person you are talking to is going to the bathroom. Don't worry if they didn't wash their hands, its not like its your keyboard they're pounding on!
Stay tuned to this spot. In the next chapter, we'll talk about griefing. "Good grief, Charlie Brown?" I don't think so!
Johnny Night and his opinions are in no way affiliated with Inworldz LLC. Please do not take him seriously.